Are you looking for ways to save your marriage and wondering if marriage counseling would help? There are some unique benefits to marriage counseling as opposed to other types of therapy. According to a study by the American Association of Marriage and Family Therapists, 97% of the clients seen in marriage counseling indicated they received the help they needed. Two other benefits of marriage counseling are that this type of therapy takes less time than individual therapy, and is often less expensive than seeing a psychologist or psychiatrist. Couples also find it appealing that the marriage counselor or therapist is considered an expert in relationships, while other therapists may as a matter of training and practice have more of a focus on pathology and diagnosis.
Finding a good match with a therapist involves a little ground work. Before you make an appointment, ask for a free consultation and interview at least three potential marital therapists. Get a sense of their communication style, training, and therapeutic approach. For therapy to work you will need a good connection with a therapist that has expertise dealing with your concerns. The therapist won’t fix your marriage—you will do the work; however, you need to have confidence your therapist is steering you in the right direction.
Couples that are committed to their marriage, and refuse to consider the option of a failed marriage, have greater success in therapy than couples who consider tossing in the towel when things get difficult. Counseling is most successful when partners are truthful about their thoughts and feelings, so problems are revealed and resolved. Part of the counselor’s work is to help couples communicate in a way conflicts can be resolved instead of rehashed in arguments. Replacing old behaviors and learning new ways of thinking takes both time, and practice. Couples need to allow enough time for change to occur. Couples counseling can’t “save” a marriage when one or both partners has made a firm decision to leave the marriage. While it does not keep the marriage together, it can help the couple end the marriage in the least traumatic way possible.
Problems with mental illness and addiction may respond initially to a different type of treatment, with couples counseling being offered when the mental illness and/or addiction is fairly well managed. Marriage counseling is not an appropriate therapy for physical abuse. For more information on treatment of physical abuse call the San Diego Domestic Violence Hotline @1-888-385-4657 or dial 911.
Marriage counseling has the maximum potential to save your marriage when:
- The couple finds a good match with a therapist
- The therapist has the training and expertise the couple needs
- The couple actively participates in the work of therapy
- The couple is committed to the marriage, and failure is not an option
- Partners are truthful, and the real problem(s) is in the light
- Couples allow enough time for change to occur
- Couples learn new behaviors and ways of thinking
- Mental illness, addiction, or abuse are an issue
- Couples learn to forgive mistakes, and move on
- Couples celebrate their progress in working toward a healthy marriage
Be encouraged. Most couples benefit from marriage counseling. The Center for Family Unity offers a free 20 minute consultation for couples that are looking for a marriage therapist. We invite you to schedule a consultation so we can discuss the concerns you have and learn how we can help save your marriage. A healthy marriage is one of life’s greatest blessings.
