Top Ten Ways to Handle Tense Family Gatherings
- Make a pro-and-con list. Clear your head, find a calm moment and decide whether it is best for you to go.
2. Consider smaller portions. If you know attending may cause high stress levels, plan to visit only for appetizers or dessert.
3. Educate yourself. Seek information on the issues or dynamics that tend to come up in your family.
4. Dig deeper. How do you contribute to the tension? Can you adjust your understanding of other points of view?
5. Seek to understand. Get to the heart of things by asking questions in a relaxed, open, non-defensive way. Read Sharon Ellison’s Taking the War Out of Our Words or Non-Violent Communication by Marshall Rosenberg.
6. Be prepared. Holiday-related emotions may arrive early. Recognizing the source can help you deal with them more effectively.
7. Take care of yourself. If the atmosphere isn’t safe, leave. Gather with friends, do volunteer work or pamper yourself.
8. Call a friend. Debrief after the visit with someone you trust. Hopefully this is your spouse.
9. Be patient. Real change—in you and in your family—takes time.
10. Be gracious. Aim for maturity and compassion in dealing with family situations.
If you need help, support and guidance with family therapy in San Diego please contact the counselors at The Center for Family Unity. www.TheCenterforFamilyUnity.com (619)884-0601
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