by admin | Sep 9, 2015 | Uncategorized
Summer is coming to an end, the kids are back in school, and that means they’re being exposed to countless new germs everyday! There is so much advice out there about how to best care for yourself and your children but what is really best for your family?
If you have never used essential oils, allow me to introduce you to this amazing world of natural solutions. Essential oils are loaded with multi-faceted benefits. For example, one bottle of basil oil can soothe sore muscles and joints, reduce stress and tension, soothe minor skin irritations and increase memory and focus! The essential oils I recommend are therapeutic-grade essential oils. This means that they are thoroughly tested for potency, purity, and consistency from batch to batch. By using these oils, you can always be sure that you’re getting what you pay for. In a world filled with toxins, isn’t it great to know there are better alternatives?
Some of my favorite “back to school” oils are frankincense and melaleuca—both of which can help promote a healthy immune system. When you diffuse lemon oil you can get three benefits in one since it can purify the air, help promote a positive mood and increase cognitive ability (great for homework and studying!) Can I hear an “amen?”
I invite you to check out my online store and look around a bit. There are a lot of oils and it can seem overwhelming, so if you are unsure where to start, let me know so I can get more info to you!
I encourage everyone that wants to buy oils to stretch their dollar by purchasing a wholesale starter kit. You can see them here. Becoming a wholesale buyer is easy: simply click here to sign up and select your starter kit. The Home Essentials Kit is my favorite because it includes frankincense, melaleuca and lemon, as well as 7 other powerful oils and a diffuser. It also covers the cost of your enrollment as a wholesale member, giving you the ability to get wholesale prices on all future orders! By purchasing any starter kit, your $35 wholesale membership fee is waived and you do not have to sell the oils or maintain a monthly minimum! How’s that for smart shopping?!
If you have any questions or want to learn more about how to use essential oils in your home, contact me at 619-884-0601.
by admin | Aug 9, 2015 | Uncategorized
To be a good parent demands untold commitment and requires that you make countless decisions every day—about babysitters, schools, friends, bedtime and homework routines. It’s not a glamorous job, but it promises the greatest reward one could ever ask for: a child’s love and a way to share God’s love with your child and, as a result, with the world.
But when separation, divorce or remarriage occurs, parenting becomes co-parenting, and what is already a tough job can seem unbearable. Everything is more complicated and you are likely, at times, to feel overwhelmed and exhausted. Co-parenting can be a breeding ground for hostility and conflict. Feelings of anger, sadness and bitterness can be intense.
With all the extra juggling, it’s easy to forget that, at these times, children’s needs intensify. They have been robbed of security and stability, their loyalty is being tested, and they are often bewildered, frightened and distressed.
Studies show that there are no formulas. Specific arrangements do not guarantee success. What does work is for children to have:
- Parents who are not in a state of conflict. Remember the rule: not within earshot. Your co-parent may call and say, “Can you pick up the kids from school tomorrow? I know it’s my turn but I have to work late.” However infuriating that is, don’t shout “NO” in front of the children and hang up. Resolve conflicts away from children and without involving them. Children know more than we usually realize, and they are sensitive to hostility.
- Good relations with both parents. If your children come back from a weekend with their co-parent looking upset and telling you how mean the co-parent is, resist the urge to make negative statements. Instead, take time to seek information. Talk to the co-parent: “The kids seemed upset yesterday. Can you tell me what happened?” If the problem is chronic, try facilitating a family meeting where everyone is encouraged to work through issues. On special occasions, foster thoughtfulness by helping your child make a card for his or her co-parent.
- Stability in the home(s). A stable home life is your child’s lifeline. Develop routines and consistency. Make sure you and your co-parent agree about chores, rewards and discipline. Pledge to never threaten or direct your frustration at the children. Know that creating peaceful and compatible homes decreases stress for everyone and provides children with a protective cushion.
The golden rule of co-parenting is this: let your children’s well-being be your guiding light. Children are resilient and can flourish in a co-parenting arrangement. It can be hard work that demands constant communication, but your children are the beneficiaries. They learn that conflicts can be resolved, and they feel loved and cherished. Those are the best gifts you could ever give to your children.
Proverbs 3:5-6 “Trust in the LORD with all your heart, and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge Him, and He shall direct your paths.”
If you need help with drawing the line on family drama, contact a counselor at www.TheCenterforFamilyUnity.com. We specialize in Christian Family Counseling. (619)884-0601
by admin | Aug 9, 2015 | Uncategorized
Stress is a natural and normal “by-product” of every family’s life. In fact, family stress can bring out the best of us: as we stretch to meet the challenges we face, we become better parents, our children blossom and our families grow. But too much stress can spiral our families in the other direction. Take this Thriving test to see how your family fares.
Answer True or False for each of the following statements.
Set 1
- There is a lot of bickering in our house. Someone is always angry at someone else.
- There’s never enough time to sit down together, either to talk or to eat. There’s always too much to do.
- My spouse and I argue a lot about how to raise the children.
- It’s like pulling teeth to get the kids to help around the house.
- Our family has experienced a lot of significant change recently (divorce, death, blending family, job loss, illness, other trauma).
- Money is very tight. My partner and I have constant conflicts about how to spend it.
- My child has been having behavioral problems at school.
- The children get upset when they hear us arguing.
- I work too much, and it’s really getting to me.
- We don’t really talk about hard issues; we just try to hold our breath, wait and let them go away.
Set 2
- We acknowledge feelings, encourage their expression and allow time for dealing with the issues these feelings raise.
- We plan time for family activities. We eat together at least once every day.
- If a blended family, we maintain and nurture original parent-child relationships and let new relationships develop in their own time.
- I feel confident in my role as parent.
- Our family easily maintains a sense of humor and playfulness.
- Family priorities take precedence over work.
- I know what’s important to my kids.
- When issues arise that we get stuck on, we ask for help from other family members, support groups, community-based programs, clergy and/or a therapist.
- We have enough money for the important things.
- Everyone in the family has responsibilities around the house and does them without being nagged.
If you answered true more often in the first set than in the second set, you may want to seek help lowering the stress level of your family.
Families that communicate about problems, face issues as they arise, support one another and seek help when it is needed, can build strong bonds among themselves, nurture a healthy and loving family and have a lot more fun doing it! If you need family counseling in San Diego, contact The Center For Family Unity today. www.thecenterforfamilyunity.com (619)884-0601
by admin | Aug 9, 2015 | Uncategorized
Top Ten Ways to Handle Tense Family Gatherings
- Make a pro-and-con list. Clear your head, find a calm moment and decide whether it is best for you to go.
2. Consider smaller portions. If you know attending may cause high stress levels, plan to visit only for appetizers or dessert.
3. Educate yourself. Seek information on the issues or dynamics that tend to come up in your family.
4. Dig deeper. How do you contribute to the tension? Can you adjust your understanding of other points of view?
5. Seek to understand. Get to the heart of things by asking questions in a relaxed, open, non-defensive way. Read Sharon Ellison’s Taking the War Out of Our Words or Non-Violent Communication by Marshall Rosenberg.
6. Be prepared. Holiday-related emotions may arrive early. Recognizing the source can help you deal with them more effectively.
7. Take care of yourself. If the atmosphere isn’t safe, leave. Gather with friends, do volunteer work or pamper yourself.
8. Call a friend. Debrief after the visit with someone you trust. Hopefully this is your spouse.
9. Be patient. Real change—in you and in your family—takes time.
10. Be gracious. Aim for maturity and compassion in dealing with family situations.
If you need help, support and guidance with family therapy in San Diego please contact the counselors at The Center for Family Unity. www.TheCenterforFamilyUnity.com (619)884-0601
by admin | Jul 9, 2015 | Uncategorized
7 Ways to Simplify Your Life:
1) Get a clear idea of what you want your life to look like.
2) Let go of projects, roles or obligations that take up too much time.
3) Say no to what you don’t want in your life. Say yes to what you do want.
4) Schedule time for rest and relaxation and make it a non-negotiable appointment.
5) Run all of your errands and chores in one day so the rest of your week is free.
6) Create space. If you’re not using something now, file it, toss it, give it away, sell it or trade it.
7) Ask for and accept help. Delegate chores. Hire help whenever possible.
Need more help simplifying your life? Make an appointment with a therapist at The Center for Family Unity to learn how to focus on your real priorities. Call us at (619)884-0601 or visit www.TheCenterForFamilyUnity.com
