How to Celebrate Christmas with the Kids After the Divorce
Keep your routines – mealtime and bedtime should be predictable
Plan only one holiday meal per day
Avoid bringing new romantic partners to your children’s events
Talk about gifts with your ex so you don’t give the same thing
Ask your kids how they would like to celebrate, and honor their choices
Put the kids first, in every decision and resolve to be your best grown up version of yourself. To learn more about how to rebuild your family after divorce, contact us.
My favorite part of the week is when you come to visit
Want more in-depth help communicating with your step children? The blended family counselors at The Center for Family Unity can help. Contact us today to schedule a free 20 minute consultation.
Society says these are all justifiable reasons to divorce. Society encourages you believe the pain of divorce is worth the possibility of a better future, where your personal desires are met fully. When you are miserable, the grass always looks greener on the other side and society encourages the belief that divorce is a means of problem solving.
What does the Bible say about divorce?
God declares in Malachi 2:16, “I hate divorce!” Notice as you read this, God does not say He hates the person who divorces their mate. God loves His children, and wants the best for them, even when they go against His plan for their lives. Nowhere in the Bible do we read divorce is permissible because we have fallen out of love, or the physical attraction is gone. It is never His plan for us to divorce because we have nothing in common, or feel we are not getting our needs met. God had a very different plan for marriage. If you have given up hope for your marriage, and see no option but divorce, this may be hard to read.
What does the Bible say about God’s purpose in marriage?
Genesis tells us God created male and female in his image (Gen 1:27). God decided it was not good for man to be alone, and created a suitable helper for him (Gen 2:18). God planned for the man and the woman to marry when He said, “For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife and they will become one flesh (Gen 2:24).” God had several purposes in mind for this union or marriage. First, he wanted the couple to share companionship and complete each other. They were to mirror His image for the rest of the world, and to nurture their children multiplying a Godly legacy. Is the state of your marriage so far removed from this Biblical description of marriage, there is no evidence you are a believer? Be encouraged. God is not finished with you or your marriage.
What does the Bible say about divorce being OK? Are there exceptions?
The Bible says divorce is permissible in the case of adultery or marital unfaithfulness (Matt 5:31-32). The key word here is that it is permissible. Divorce is an option. There is no command to divorce. Paul wrote divorce was permissible on the grounds of desertion by the unbelieving spouse, who is married to a believer (1 Cor 7:15). Physical, sexual, and mental abuse, that endangers a spouse or child, is punishable by law. Most Christian faiths consider divorce acceptable in the case of abuse and endangerment. Mark 10: 2-12 says, “Therefore, what God has joined together, let no man separate.” It is clear – no Biblical grounds for divorce exist on the basis of incompatibility, poor communication, lack of love, growing apart over time, or the myriad of other reasons justified by society.
If you are Christian considering divorce, make an appointment at The Center for Family Unity. We are experts in helping couples work through and heal from the seemingly unsolvable issues leading couples to consider divorce. We deal daily with the consequences of divorce – the confusion and pain it can bring children when a marriage is destroyed, and the disappointment that follows in realizing divorce wasn’t a solution – it was just a means to trade one set of problems for another set of often more complex problems.
As Christian counselors, we know nothing is impossible for the God that not only created marriage, but also wants to restore your marriage. We can help you learn to forgive, and be set free from pain and bitterness. We will support you as you seek God’s wisdom, healing, and peace, and a fresh beginning.
Be encouraged. God is not finished with you or your marriage. This post was written for you, for this time in your life. “For I know the plans I have for you. Plans to prosper you, and not to harm you. Plans to give you a future, and a hope (Jer 29:11).” Contact us today to schedule your free 20 minute consultation.
Do you hold grudges with your step children or ex-spouse? Have you placed them permanently on your “bad” list because they’ve hurt you?
When you make a mistake as a step parent, is it difficult for you to stop dwelling on it, and kicking yourself?
Do you spend a lot of time living in the past? Reliving the glory days and replaying what could have been with your blended family?
Letting go can be an empowering act—when you practice letting go you often become more courageous, compassionate, forgiving and loving. Do you need help learning how to move on? Contact the Center for Family Unity for support.
Find out what has helped other family members that struggle with depression.
Encourage a healthy lifestyle including social/physical activity and a healthy diet.
With timely treatment, the outcome for teen depression is quite favorable. To have your teen evaluated for depression by a therapist at The Center for Family Unity, contact us today.
Are you concerned your teen might be depressed? Depression affects people of all races, genders, and ages—including teens. Depression is a treatable illness; however, parents must know how to recognize the signs of teen depression and when to intervene.
It’s normal in the teen years to have highs and lows, but having a bad day is quite different than having a bad month. When a teen is stuck at a low point, you need to pay attention. A depressed teen is unable to “snap out of it” and pull themselves up by their boot straps. The depth of their feelings can be overwhelming. In the worst case scenario, untreated depression can result in suicide.
The National Institutes of Health (NIH) reports about 1 in 5 teenagers have depression at some point. The signs of depression in teens are different from the signs of depression in adults. Adults often describe themselves as being depressed or down in the dumps. Teens are not as likely to use words like sad or depressed to describe their experience. They are more likely to indicate they are depressed by changing their behavior and daily routines. If you see some of the following common signs of teen depression in your child for 2 weeks or longer, call The Center for Family Unity for an evaluation.
Frequent irritability or hostility with sudden out bursts of anger.
Spends increasing time alone, pulls away from family and most friends, while keeping a close friend.
Doesn’t enjoy or participate in activities that brought pleasure in the past.
Appears sad and depressed most of the time to others.
No longer shows interest in personal grooming.
Complains of being tired much of the time.
Sleep patterns change – insomnia, fitful sleep, or sleeps most of the time.
Eating patterns change – gains weight, or loses weight instead of normal gain with growth.
Very sensitive to criticism, feels worthless, hopeless, has inappropriate guilt.
Has a hard time concentrating or following directions, and cannot make decisions.
GPA drops, fails to do homework, and has no motivation concerning school.
Has unexplained physical symptoms i.e. headache, stomach ache.
Absent from school.
Engages in high risk behaviors i.e. unsafe sex, shoplifting, and reckless driving.
Engages in drinking or using drugs to deal with feelings of depression.
Remember, depression is a treatable illness. To learn more about how to recognize the signs of teen depression and know when to intervene, contact a teen therapist at The Center for Family Unity by calling (619) 884-0601.
