Once there was a woman. I will call her Janet. She was struggling immensely with her marriage and her pocket book. Her business was failing, her home was close to foreclosure and her husband wanted a divorce. While her world seemed to be falling down around her she wondered why her years of positive affirmations and visualization were mounting toward such seemingly negative drama. She asked “Why am I creating exactly the opposite of what I want?”
There is actually a deeper reason Janet attracted the challenges she faced. Because of challenges of her youth, Janet actually believed she didn’t deserve abundance or joy in her life. This engrained perception left Janet attracting situations where she would subconsciously validate this belief that she somehow, wasn’t worthy enough to receive the blessings she prayed for.
Generally when we struggle to create abundance in our lives, whether it’s a great flow of money or more love in our relationships, hidden feelings of being “less than” others or “underserving of blessings and goodness” leave us unknowingly sabotaging our success.
Sometimes in order to attract the very thing we want, we need to change something within ourselves so we can become the kind of person we attract, and achieve our greatest wish. Because deep personal change can be brought about through personal trails and challenges, it’s not common for those who seek something new in their lives to unknowingly manifest personal struggles as part of their learning process on the road to transformation and change.
Often we can misjudge our circumstances (or other’s) as failures and further evidence of trouble, when in fact sometimes, ill circumstances are a sign of personal transformation.
Here are 10 tips to creating abundance in your life:
Maintain focus…Keep your eye on the ball. Indecision breeds procrastination. You can hit only what you aim at. Outdoorsmen always sight in a gun before hunting. Your goals should be no different. It requires regular focus to hit them. To gain focus, consider using essential oils like cassia, lime, germanium or lavender–they are grounding and helpful when transitioning out of denial and moving forward.
Be honest—always. Nothing will make your life more complicated that lying to yourself or others. Facing circumstances squarely may seem challenging, but it’s the simplest way to live a healthy and joyful life. Remember honesty is what you say to yourself and not only what you say to others. To promote honesty with yourself, consider using frankincense or wild orange essential oils.
Prepare. Everything you need or want has a way of showing up as soon as you are ready for it. The sooner you are prepared, the faster you’ll realize results. The sooner you’re prepared, the faster you’ll realize results. Lemon and basil essential oils actually clear out the toxic fog in your brain.
Have faith. Hopeful wishing is an excellent started, but a not so good finisher. It is faith coupled with perseverance that leads you across the finish line. Faith comes after hope-it is believing without doubt. Experiment with myrrh or sandalwood oils to balance your head and heart and bring you home to truth, which leads to faith.
Keep it positive. The three things you have full power over are your thoughts, words and actions. Orange, bergamot and vetiver essential oils influence what you think, say and do!
Stay educated. Knowledge is the key that unlocks the door to dreams. Your individual success will depend upon increasing intelligence. Lemon, peppermint and sandalwood oils support knowledge integration.
Be courageous. Breaking out of old complicated patterns takes guts! If your purpose is worthy and your pursuit is sincere, with bravery you can establish behavior patterns, thoughts, and choices that feed simple, happy and successful lives.
Go the extra mile. When you are spiritually compelled to reach out and serve, do it with high definition! It is a spiritual truth that which you put out comes back to you 100 fold. Serve! Go the extra mile! Geranium, immortelle grapefruit or white fir essential oils will support you in this process.
Drop the ego you can’t become the master of anything until you become the master of your own ego. While believing in yourself is important and healthy if your success is ego based, your failure is imminent.
Be willing to work. Healthy self-esteem grows with good old-fashioned hard work. Anyone whose hit his mark will tell you that dreams aren’t made without it.
Not sure where to start? Pick one tip. Integrate it into your life this week. Then, move on to another one next week.
Need support or want to learn more about how to create abundance in your life?
One of the hardest things we’ll ever experience is the loss of someone—or something—dear to us. Grieving is a normal and natural response to loss. While death is one of the most common losses, grief also comes with other big and small life changes, such as a serious illness, the end of a relationship, the loss of a job, relocating to an unfamiliar city, and other lifestyle changes.
Even if you aren’t currently grieving, it can be beneficial to think about the grief process. At its core, grief is a part of the experience of being alive…and human. And while grief isn’t pleasant, it can give us insight, compassion and strength that we wouldn’t otherwise have found.
Here are some ways to access those greater qualities, survive a significant loss or help someone experiencing grief.
1. Expect a process.
In stark contrast to how frequently TV characters talk about “getting closure,” in reality, grief is an ongoing experience. The goal of grieving isn’t to “get to the bottom of it” or to stop feeling a certain way. Instead, it’s a process of learning to live with your emotions every day and every moment. Even years later, reminders like a special day or the smell of a favorite meal may trigger a fresh wave of memories and feelings linked to the loss.
2. Acknowledge the loss.
“When a person is born we rejoice, and when they’re married we jubilate,” wrote Margaret Mead, “but when they die we try to pretend nothing has happened.” If someone in your life is grieving, do your best to acknowledge that something has happened. Avoid clichés. Don’t force a conversation if the person isn’t ready to talk. While it may feel awkward, a simple gesture like a hug or sitting together in silence can have meaning. An offer to help with a household task, such as running errands or making a meal, can also go a long way. Praying with the grieving person can give them a sense of deep connection with the Lord and with you the person who cares.
Casting all your anxieties on Him, because He cares for you 1 Peter 5:7
3. Do the grief work.
In our fast-paced world, we tend to expect things to be quick, direct and convenient. Living with grief isn’t any of these things. There is no “one-size-fits-all” solution, no series of steps to make it hurt less, no magical approach that shortens the time it takes to heal. Instead, living with grief requires us to feel our feelings, fully and completely. In the words of poet Emily Dickinson: “The best way out is through.”
4. Ask for help.
Lean on your support system. If you’re not sure how to ask for help, “I’m having a hard time…” is a good way to start. If you need help beyond what your friends and family can provide, seek the support of a grief group as well as your counselor or therapist.
As with any process, it takes time to learn new skills and ways to cope with grief. Be gentle with yourself as you experience strong feelings. That kindness toward yourself can be the important first step toward a broader healing that will have ramifications after the grief has subsided. Try to never forget that Jesus walked the path of grief and loss in human form, He understands loss and is always there to give you comfort.
He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds
Psalm 147: 3
A Psalm of David. The Lord is my shepherd; I shall not want. He makes me lie down in green pastures. He leads me beside still waters. He restores my soul. He leads me in paths of righteousness for his name’s sake. Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil, for you are with me; your rod and your staff, they comfort me. You prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies; you anoint my head with oil; my cup overflows
Everyone gets angry. But people who “fly off the handle” easily may be at greater risk for heart attacks or other illnesses—not to mention the risks of damaged relationships, unfulfilling lives, feelings of worthlessness, and even trouble with the law. Test your temper with this thriving quiz, to see how much risky business there is in your life and get help before things explode.
True or False
1. I feel infuriated when I do a good job and no one in my family recognizes it.
2. When other people’s mistakes slow me down, it can upset me for the whole day.
3. When I get mad, I say nasty things.
4. I feel annoyed when I’m not given recognition for doing good work.
5. I feel like hitting someone who makes me very angry.
6. I feel stupid and inadequate in challenging situations, and I hate that.
7. I get furious when I’m criticized, corrected or embarrassed in front of others.
8. Sometimes I feel so powerless with parenting my children .
9. I often wish people who have hurt me could be punished somehow.
10. It doesn’t take much to get me mad.
11. People call me hotheaded and tell me I should calm down.
12. I blow up at terrible drivers.
13. I have a hard time forgiving others when they hurt or frustrate me.
14. I hate the way I get treated at restaurants or stores.
15. I swear loudly to blow off steam.
16. I’m a very ambitious person, so sometimes I get impatient and angry with other people.
17. I’ve been known to break things when I’m frustrated.
If you answered “true” more often than “false,” you may have a problem controlling your anger. It’s helpful to realize that underneath anger are usually feelings of fear and hurt. Understanding your deepest feelings will help you curb your anger, get along better with co-workers and bosses, improve relationships and improve your life. Here are some healthier ways to respond to anger.
1. Practice intentionally laughing at yourself or at a difficult situation.
2. When you’re really angry, remove yourself from the situation and go for a walk or do some light exercise.
3. Try to use “I messages” as much as you can instead of pointing fingers.
4. When you begin to feel angry about a situation, try to step back and figure out why you have let other people get to you.
5. Understand where your anger comes from, as well as your habit of acting out angrily, and actively trying to learn a different way.
6. Accept the fact that only you can make yourself feel anger, that it is actually your choice to feel or not feel anger.
For more healthy ways to respond to situations and people who make you angry, please explore San Diego Counseling at The Center for Family Unity.
I get asked this question a lot, so I have compiled 5 Tips to know if this
person might be “The One” for you. Selecting a spouse may be one of the most
important decisions you will ever make! This decision affects you and many
others in your life for years. The emotional destruction I have seen when families
are in turmoil and the harm that comes to the children breaks my heart.
1. Tip #1- Pray About It
No matter what you believe regarding the existence of there being what some
call a ‘soul mate,’ it is absolutely essential to pray over your relationship. God is
your best resource for attaining the answers and wisdom you need and seek.
Talk to Him about your hopes, dreams, desires, but earnestly seek after what His
will is for your life. It’s easy to ask God to give us what we want, but make sure to
ask and be willing to pursue what He wants for us. He knows us better than we
know ourselves, so His plan and will is always the perfect one. Jeremiah 29:11
says, ‘‘For I know the plans I have for you,’ declares the LORD, ‘plans to prosper
you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.’’
Seek His will, ask for His direction and wisdom, and be willing to accept whatever
that is. That takes faith, a listening ear, and a true understanding of and belief in
His promises and Word.
2. Tip # 2-Seek Godly Counsel
God gives us our support system to help us navigate the journey of life.
Everyone’s situation is different, but most of us have a family member, friend,
spouse or significant other, or pastor that we can go to for some godly advice.
It’s important to have people around us that are trustworthy, have a
relationship with Christ, and honest.
3. Tip# 3-Be Honest
One of the biggest problems that plague relationships is a lack of honesty.
Both parties are often on best behavior, which is fine, but at times it is taken
to the point of dishonesty. Instead of being an authentic version of
themselves, they pretend to be who they think that special guy or gal wants
them to be.
4. Tip# 4-Ask
Are you and the person you are dating a good match? Emotions come and go
and your vision is clouded by drugs and movies. Drugs: The endorphins and
dopamine that signals pleasure to your brain when you are in the romantic
phase of love. Movies: Each one of you holds a camera pointed at each other
with your version of “my perfect man or my perfect woman” movies playing.
You don’t hear the snoring, belches or sarcastic comments. You don’t see the
dirty clothes lying on the floor next to the clothes hamper or smell the burnt
dinner.
The best way to start answering that question is to start asking questions.
Explore your interests, hopes, goals, beliefs, etc. Ask questions like:
Where do you want to live?
What do you hope to accomplish in the next 5, 10, 15 years?
Do you believe that marriage is for life?
How do you envision the husband and wife roles looking like?
What are your favorite hobbies?
What do you hope to give and gain from marriage?
How many kids do you want?
How were you raised?
What type of parenting style do you ascribe to?
Do you think a wife should be a stay-at-home mom?
5. Tip # 5- Prepare
Preparation is such an important part of a successful marriage as well as
the process of deciphering if the person you are with is the one you want
to spend the rest of your life with. There are so many resources (like the
one you are viewing now) that are available to help guide you through the
various premarital stages of life.
If you are at this important stage of your life, don’t take a chance. Call today
and speak to a Family Unity Specialist @ 619-884-0601
These are times not for the faint of heart. Not for the faint of wallet either. With the stock market seemingly out of control and with prices on goods and services taking a page from Buzz Lightyear’s playbook and going “to infinity and beyond,” it’s a tense time for many.
The only sure thing you can bet on in this market is that anxiety is at an all-time high.
Research shows that men and women are wired differently but, the other thing that probably accounts for women experiencing higher levels of anxiety is societal expectations of today’s woman.
The women of today have too much going on, too much expected of them. Too much to do, too little time. How in the world can there be family unity when mom is worried?
Soooo, what do we do? Fret, feel troubled, concerned, bothered , anxious, agonize and lose sleep? Life doesn’t have to be like that.
Thoughts are the key to our mental sanity.
Christianity and living the Christian life is a war that goes on between your ears. And is a matter of our thought life more than it is a matter of the devil and demons and what they do. We have to remember that our flesh is fallen; married to Lucifer since the fall and therefore what is natural to man, the will of the flesh is in unity with sin and therefore Satan. That is why it is called the sin nature. It is our nature to sin. You don’t have to train a child to sin, you have to train them not to sin, not to take what isn’t theirs until it’s paid for and so much more. Scripture tells us and we know from our own lives, that a man acts and does in accordance with how he thinks. “For as he thinketh in his heart, so is he: ”Proverbs 23:7
2 Corinthians 10:5 “Casting down imaginations, and every high thing that exalteth
itself against the knowledge of God, and bringing into captivity every thought to the obedience of Christ;” The Bible doesn’t say “take every demon captive” but “take every thought captive. That is not saying you are not to cast out demons out of demon possessed people. NO, but if you are born again by the spirit of God, then you do not belong to Satan. You might have ways of behaving due to your ways and system of thinking you were trained to have by the world and need to destroy that system of thinking and have your mind renewed by the truth of God’s Word so that you will then act and behave in a different manner, in a way that is godly and acceptable to God.
We have to know that we cannot change our lives by changing our behavior. Dealing
with behavior will not change your life. For “As a man thinketh…” You have to change your way of thinking and your thought patters if you are going to change your behavior. You change your life by changing what you think. Then when your thinking is lined up with God’s thinking, God’s Word, then that seals Satan off and he has no entrance into your life. He will come and try to do so, he will throw accusations at you to try and penetrate your mind and thinking because that is how he gets power in a person’s life. If he can get you to think evil thoughts, angry thoughts, hateful thoughts, vengeful thoughts, lustful thoughts, any thoughts contrary to God’s Word, that is how he gets you to act sinfully. You don’t go out and do sinful acts if you didn’t first think and meditate upon them. You don’t go to see a porno movie
without desiring it in your mind. You don’t take a gun and go shoot someone unless there are murderous thoughts in your mind.
If you have on the armor of God, if you have on the breastplate of righteousness on
and your shield of faith up (which is faith in the Word of God) and your mind filled
with the preparation of the Gospel, he can’t get you to do his bidding and dirty
work. If the devil can’t penetrate because your sword of the Spirit, the Word of
God is sharp and ready then the enemy can’t penetrate your mind and get you to
follow his system and way of doing things. The key to the armor of God and putting
it on and having it in force in your life is the Word of God, daily renewing your mind
to truth, filling your mind with truth and building your faith up with the truth. That
is what arms and defends you against the attacks of the enemy against your mind
and gives you power to attack him on his own turf. Of course that means that you
are obeying that truth that you know, walking in obedience to the Word in your
daily life for that is how the Word has power in your life.
Having trouble with anxious thoughts? The Center for Family Unity can help. Please call us today to schedule an appointment.
