by admin | Jun 12, 2015 | Marriage Counseling
Going through a divorce can be emotionally devastating for everyone involved. Partners and their children will have their lives shattered by the loss of trust and security resulting from such a brutal decision. Not only can a divorce create an emotional toll, but for most it will leave a financial scar, as well. In fact, a recent article by Erica Sandberg on CreditCards.com discusses the hard truth about divorce:
Breaking up is not only hard to do, it can be brutal on your finances.
Legal fees and creating two households from one are just the initial costs of separation. And while some expenditures are necessary, others can be emotionally charged and careless and can lead to serious debt.
Here are seven common ways divorced couples can get into big financial trouble after a split:
- Ignorance. While a divorce decree may specify who is to pay what account, it carries little weight with lenders.“The most frequent mistake of all after divorce is assuming that because the ex has been the one ordered to pay back the debt in the divorce, they are off the hook for it,” says Lisa Decker, an Atlanta-based certified divorce financial analyst. “Most people do not understand that courts do not have the authority to make creditors abide by a judge’s orders in adivorce.” If possible, delete jointly held debts before leaving, then close all cosigned accounts…Read More
Divorce happens, but it doesn’t have to be inevitable. With a commitment to communication and the guidance of a marriage counselor, even the most difficult marital problems can be overcome.
by admin | Jun 12, 2015 | Family Counseling, Marriage Counseling
Nowadays, it seems that many people are experiencing some sort of change such as moving to a
new state, loss or creation of a job, personal issues coming to the forefront or maybe family
challenges. These are all changes that happen as a result of something. The challenge is how to
successfully manage the change, which often times comes quickly. Here are 10 ways to manage
change.
1. Expect to be uncomfortable. It’s normal!
2. Focus on the now. That could possibly mean letting go of the past or any hope that the past
could have been any different.
3. The change process takes a considerable amount of time to stabilize and to work. Be patient
with yourself and others. Nevertheless, don’t get too comfortable and think things will not change
again. They will…
4. Establish a clearly defined vision of the end result. This allows you to define the best path for
accomplishing your results
5. Don’t panic and rush to make decisions; just go with the flow
6. Listen to your body and be good to yourself. Take deep breaths and become gratitude focused,
especially when you are feeling down. Just think, it could be worse.
7. Know your stress relievers and develop new ones
8. Reflect on your past experiences of change to see how they may be helping you or holding you
back. You can do this by identifying and removing any ingrained assumptions that are not
benefiting you at this time, such as “when the going gets tough, the tough get going”
9. Maintain your integrity, even if it’s uncomfortable at the time. “Truth” is more important during
periods of change and uncertainty than good news
10. Trust is earned by those who demonstrate consistent behavior and clearly defined values
Take time to manage your thoughts, relax your physical body and focus on the present as you
transition!
by admin | Jun 12, 2015 | Family Counseling, Marriage Counseling
Could your marriage survive an affair? Affairs come in many shapes and sizes. It doesn’t have to be physical, it can be emotional. Leaning on and counting on someone other than your partner is the first step to divorce.
If you have become like ships in the night, passing each other by in the house and living separate lives away from each other don’t wait another moment to call The Center for Family Unity.
Divorce is ugly, expensive and leaves scars inside the couple, children, family and friends. The kids feel like they have to choose sides, extended family becomes shattered and your friends drift away since being with either one of you separately feels like betrayal.
Wait, there is hope. A couple who came to The Center for Family Unity speak:
Husband: When we first came to you , I didn’t know if we would be able to save our marriage. I was being guardedly optimistic. The sessions always seemed to hit the nail on the head. The homework and talks helped me open up about my thoughts and feelings. I know now that if we/I had gone to counseling along time ago, I would not have been in the hurting place I was in, and would not have hurt my wife. Your slogan Affair Repair, is perfect. If a couple wants to save their marriage and they are having trouble, you are the
only person I would recommend. We just had our 16th anniversary, and while this year has
been challenging, it is also one of the best years of my life. I still have my wife and we are happier than ever before.
Wife: When I called you I didn’t have much hope of saving our marriage. I wanted to, but I was so hurt and upset, I didn’t think that I could ever trust him again. I told you on the phone that I wanted to choke the crap outta him, and you chuckled–with that sense of humor, I knew you, if anyone, would be the right person for us.
My previous experience with counseling was not a positive one, and previously my husband had thought that counseling was for the weak minded. We were on a leap of faith when we sought help. Kellye, you sensed our hesitation and drew us in. We worked earnestly on the homework provided, and still use the tools that you gave us at the beginning. We talk openly, and share every experience with each other like we never had before. It is like being newlyweds all over again. Thank you…for everything.
I highly recommend your services, not just for couples in crisis, but for all couples that want to strengthen the connection with their loved one.
I know now that if we/I had gone to counseling along time ago, I would not have been in the hurting place I was in, and would not have hurt my wife.
Wow, and this is from the husband. A man who believed counseling was for the weak minded.
I highly recommend your services, not just for couples in crisis, but for all couples that want to strengthen the connection with their loved one.
If you are in crises, call NOW…and you don’t need to be in crises, call TODAY to strengthen your connection with your loved one. Don’t wait!
by admin | Apr 15, 2015 | Marriage Counseling
Sex is play. It is celebration—the glue that keeps a relationship together during difficult times. However, keeping that sexual spark alive in a marriage or a long-term relationship can be a challenge. Sometimes life takes us over and like a wet blanket, stress smothers the spark. But couples that take the time to cultivate a loving and tender relationship will reap the reward of feeling more connected. These couples also tend to be more physically healthy!
Take the quiz below to find out if you have a thriving sex life!
Answer True or False:
1. My partner and I communicate in an open and loving manner about most things that matter to us.
2. I am able to articulate my sexual needs to myself. I know what I like and what I don’t like.
3. I communicate those likes and dislikes to my partner. I don’t expect him or her to “just know” how to please me.
4. Without judgment or embarrassment, I talk openly and fearlessly with my partner about my thoughts and feelings about sex.
5. I share my sexual hopes, dreams, and aspirations in an intimate manner with my partner.
6. I avoid making assumptions about what does and doesn’t turn on my partner. I ask for feedback and guidance.
7. Experimentation and play are key elements in my sexual relationship.
8. I have realistic expectations of my partner and I avoid being overly demanding.
9. I enjoy having sex with my partner on a regular basis.
10. I look forward to having sex with my partner and do not see it as a chore or obligation.
11. My partner and I make time for sex and don’t allow it to end up on the back burner.
12. I leave unexpected notes and surprise gifts for my partner.
13. Foreplay is an integral part of my sex life.
14. My partner and I are able to embrace and incorporate each other’s turn-ons in a healthy and loving manner.
If you marked true on most of the questions, your sex life is likely healthy and vibrant. If you marked “false” on most of the questions, don’t worry. Cultivating a loving sexual relationship with your partner is possible. Jack Morin, author of The Erotic Mind, recommends that couples hone their communication skills as a first step towards a healthy sex life. For more information or to discuss your responses to this quiz, call The Center for Family Unity at 619-884-0601
